We were surprised recently when one of New Canaan’s leading citizens told us she felt New Canaan was not as “nice” as it had been. She was not referring to the aesthetics of town, this is a very beautiful town. It was more of an ethereal feeling she had. As we have been about town lately her comments stuck with us. We noticed drivers seemed to be overly anxious with more honking and impatience behind the wheel. Pedestrians appeared more intent on reaching their destination than holding the door for the person behind them. There were fewer people saying “hello” and “thank you.” It was as if someone had dialed the “nice” knob back a few notches for the benefit of expediency.
Life is busy. Life is stressful. What is happening today around the world and in our country is creating a sense of uncertainty that affects us here in town. Being constantly inundated with news of the wars in Ukraine and the Middle East; presidential campaigns and the lack of any meaningful progress to move any legislation in Washington forward can wear us down, whether we know it or not. How many times a day can the New York Times send out “Breaking News” headlines, nearly all of which are negative? The byproduct of this is often unidentified stress, even anger and a renewed vigor for honking our horns at people.
It is because of that stress and uncertainty that we should all make an effort to be a little nicer. Being nice can take practice. Will Rogers said: “most men are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Being nice is the same. For some it’s an effort. They may feel that in the middle of a busy stressful day, saying hello to someone they do not know will not make a difference, but they are wrong. We challenge you to say “hello” to someone you pass on the street as you are running your errands. Watch their face. See if you can see the smile and then notice how that makes you feel. Being nice makes you feel good. Literally.
According to Phycology Today being nice and doing nice things for others boast your serotonin. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter that gives us the feeling of satisfaction and well-being. Most anti-depressant medications work by increasing the amount of serotonin available to your brain. What this means is that being nice and doing nice things for others changes your brain in a way that makes you feel better. Best part? No side effects and no prescriptions.
We do not expect that next week everyone in town will be blissfully happy. That sounds like a creepy episode on the Twilight Zone from the 1960’s or (closer to home) The Stepford Wives. We do hope that folks will turn the “nice” dial up a couple of notches. Is there really a need for four cars to honk their horns simultaneously because someone is struggling to turn against the traffic? That just adds to an already stressful situation. Hold the door for the person behind you, say “thank you” when they do the same for you. These are little things we can do.
Life is stressful and uncertain. Many are concerned about what is happening nationally, economically, internationally and even locally. There is anger and fear being hurled at us from all directions. Let’s not let that consume us here in New Canaan. Let us, as a community, try to be a little nicer to one another. After all, it will make you feel better.
