NCPD’s Sgt. Mike O’Sullivan.
Jane Fox
The following is the text of a highly informative and important presentation given by Dede Bartlett, Co-Chair, New Canaan Abuse Prevention Partnership to The Rotary Club of New Canaan on February 26, 2026. Sgt. Mike O’Sullivan, the head of the NCPD Special Victims Unit and Jacqueline D’Louhy, LCSW, Co-Chair of the New Canaan Abuse Prevention Partnership provided additional perspective as well. Most important, at the end of her talk, Dede reminded us that The Rotary Club’s support and that of individuals in New Canaan makes a big difference!
Good Afternoon! It’s been a year since I was last here and thank you for inviting me back.
Of all the crimes in our town, Domestic Violence is New Canaan’s #1 violent crime and our #1 public health issue. Whether boyfriend vs girlfriend; parent vs child; husband vs wife; same sex couples, it’s partner abuse. Be it in person, online or both. This affects the quality of life in our town.
Bullying is serious and can be deadly. This is not a rite of passage that any child or teen should have to deal with. Bullies are batterers in training.
At least once every four weeks a domestic violence incident is reported in our local press in town. Last year’s Community Health & Well-being Survey reported that 9% of respondents – or 134 people – had safety concerns about someone in their home! Equally concerning is that 34% of survey responders reported they were unaware of where to get advice and support about domestic violence issues.
Let me remind you of the extent of this abuse in the United States: 1 in 4 women and girls will be a victim of abuse …..whether it is physical, online or more likely both. 1 in 3 teens will experience sexual, physical or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with regardless of age, ethnicity, religion, or socio-economic status. And in Connecticut, 26% of students surveyed reported that some one they were dating or going out with purposely tried to control or emotionally hurt them. Sadly, it gets worse: Partner abuse is such a significant factor in suicides that some criminologists believe these deaths should be reclassified as homicides!
Survivors and their families bear scars that last a lifetime! 50% of the incidents Sgt Mike O’Sullivan, the head of New Canaan’s Special Victims Unit, and his officers respond to are recurring. This underscores the viciousness of the cycle of violence and the importance of having healthy relationships programs in our schools. That is one of the primary reasons School Resource Officers are in all our schools to give students from Kindergarten through High School added support.
Our town is fortunate in so many ways with a quality of life that most Americans can only dream of. But many of us fear New Canaan is falling back into the complacency that was widespread 22 years ago when the New Canaan Abuse Prevention Partnership was founded.
• We fear New Canaanites do not understand that partner abuse is our town’s #1 violent crime!
• We fear New Canaanites do not realize that partner abuse is our town’s #1 public health issue!
• We fear that the graphic content and violence children and young people are exposed to online is contributing to the rising rates of sexual abuse and teen dating violence.
• We fear for the 1 in 3 teens who experience abuse and how this will impact their lives.
• We fear that AI will exacerbate the viciousness cyber abuse.
• We fear that the bullying shown by some of our national leaders is normalizing toxic behavior and shaping bad behavior for generations to come.
• We fear the recent disclosures in the Epstein files condition young people toward patterns that degrade women and girls and perpetuate sexual violence.
So, what concrete steps can you take to stop this abuse that affects all our citizens and our town’s quality of life?
1. If someone tells you they fear for their safety, believe them. Do not say “why don’t you leave?” It’s neither simple, nor easy nor safe. It took me 2 years working with Jackie D’Louhy, the Co-Chair of the New Canaan Abuse Prevention Partnership and the head of health and human services for the Town of New Canaan and Sgt O’Sullivan to help a prominent New Canaan mom leave an abusive relationship and make a new life. And she had a well-paying job. Many survivors don’t.
2. If you see something say something. Report any violence you witness.
3. Offer people in crisis practical, low risk help, be it a place to charge their phones or make a call or help with child care, pets, rides, or groceries. Help them keep copies of documents and create a code word if they don’t want a partner to see their messages.
4. Help people access services before things get out of control. Share the information on dvccct.org, the website of the Domestic Violence Crisis Center with your networks. In last year’s Community Health and Wellbeing Survey, 34% of respondents were not aware of services or counseling for domestic violence.
5. Please support organizations that are helping teens and adults lead safer, healthier lives – such as the following:
• New Canaan Cares newcanaancares.org offers leadership programs for youth and behavioral counseling for parents.
• New Canaan Health & Human Services –newcanaan.info/departments/human_services Their website directs people to ways to help people in general and domestic violence survivors in particular by giving to:
i. The Food Pantry
ii. Domestic violence services
iii. Holiday toys program
iv. Help with fuel costs
v. Help with back to school supplies & support
• The Rowan Center – therowancenter.org Their SAFE KIDS HQ program helps kids stay safe online. The Community Foundation is launching an event to make parents and kids aware of this resource.
• The Domestic Violence Crisis Center dvccct.org which offers free legal, advocacy & counselling services
• Kids In Crisishttps: kidsincrisis.org provides 24-hour support and shelter for children and teenagers
The Rotary’s support and your individual support make a big difference. Thank you!
